Crazy Coley's Crochet

New Design :)

2012-01-15T22:52:00.001-06:00

One awesome (unblocked) sleeve :D

Awesome!!!!

2012-01-14T22:36:00.001-06:00

Cheat on the wrong woman and this could happen to you #WaysToGetWomenMad http://t.co/Wf2faeOP -- BABYxL0KA (@BABYxL0KA)

The Declutter Challenge

2012-01-06T17:12:00.001-06:00

366 items in 2012. That's one per day, donated, sold, or given away. Trash doesn't count. Are you in?

But not the yarn. Never the yarn.

Breathe.

Just all that other crap, which may be obscuring your yarn.

Sigh....:(

2011-12-31T19:31:00.001-06:00

I got my nails done four weeks ago. After always being the one to do everyone else's, it was nice to get something long and shocking. I spend most of my work day in the salon looking like Martha Stewart so it was nice to give everyone something to chatter about at the staff holiday party on December 4th.

*However*

While I can do everything else that I normally do, long pointy nails make for difficulty in yarnworking. So I am really, really behind on Nick`s sweater. I am still on the first sleeve, which is what I was on when I started.

0_o

So Dave produced this tool which looks like a dremel on steroids from the bowels of the garage and unceremoniously took down the length of my nails.

Goodbye pretty nails. It was nice while it lasted

:`)

2011-11-14T20:52:00.001-06:00

Nick wants the Highlander Tunic from More Aran Sweaters. I bought the yarn today. I am concerned that no one will see the cables because he insisted on dark blue, but it makes him happy.

"I don't care what other presents you get for me, mom, but can I please have this?"

I wonder what he's softening me up for.......

Ugh

2011-11-14T20:51:00.001-06:00

Only down one more lb. Damn ovulation!!! I did not cheat, instead, I swelled up like a puffer fish and no amount of water and exercise will shake it.

>:(

8lbs down!!!

2011-11-11T08:59:00.001-06:00

I bought a scale last Sunday. I know all the fitness motivating guru folks keep saying that the scale isn't important, blah, blah, blah, but I like numbers. I need to see numbers going down to know that this is working. Since I started weighing myself, I have lost 8lbs - mind you, I am taking that number from my last known weight when I last weighed myself at GoodLife in September. I am also sticking to this diet plan, but it is sofa king hard at this time of year. I don't want celery stuffed with hummus, and I don't want one slice of protein bread with nothing on it, nor do I want steamed anything. I want a dark chocolate lava cake with a glass of Merlot.

One of my coworkers, her sister is a bloody pastry chef. Oh my god this little thing brings in cookies and candied fruit, and all sorts of obnoxious goodness when she comes in to see her sister and she SHARES, and I want everything so so badly. As graciously as I can, I say no, and it does not matter....it's always "But one won't kill you" or "She brought them here for us...." Well, if they were brought here for all of us then someone can have seconds. Then there are the girlfriends who send me chirpy sweet messages about how they started a Zumba class four weeks ago and are now down 25lbs.

I hate those people, and secretly I wish I could be one of them, but damn, this is frustrating.

Something else I have noticed: people get really persnickety when you don't take their food. Pastry chef siblings aside, I work with a woman who buys gigantic sized brownies and other goodies from a restaurant near the salon, and she gets really loud and insistent that I share. She insists she is kidding, but man, she is pushy. I do not partake anymore, but wow. Simmer down and try some Sanka. Dave falls into this category, too. Since I have started weighing myself and watching everything that I eat, he has started to purposely undermine me. On Tuesday he brought home lasagna, ciabatta rolls, and double chocolate chip cookies, and a bottle of wine. Last night he tried to talk me into saying yes to dinner out at Chicken Chef. Of course Nick heard this and when I kept saying no, I became the mean a-hole parent who is never any fun.

I've only had this scale at home for a week......and I have probably another year of this to go. Why is it that people try so hard to squish positive change?

>:(

Plowing Ahead

2011-11-06T00:57:00.000-05:00

I've said it before and I will say it again. I wish there was such a thing as a Right-Brained Business Plan that I could take into a bank or other lender....but the collage and glitter wouldn't get me very far.

This is the part that I hate. It isn't the numbers, it's the trying to pry information out of people. No one in any given industry wants to share what they know. A few companies and individuals have gotten back to me, and I can tell you, if this all goes through, I know who I will be buying from, LOL, but the response has mostly been poor. I can understand getting no leads from others running stores in this field because who wants to give away too much to potential competition, but distributors and manufacturers? Come on now, I will be spending money with you.....be kind and let me know how much I should spend :P

Ever forward. I did this with nails, I can do this with hooks :D

Comic Con Occupies Winnipeg

2011-10-29T00:14:00.002-05:00

Comic Con is here again. Klingons, Ewoks, and guys who have never touched a vagina.

Hahahaha

2011-10-28T23:34:00.001-05:00

I was checking my stats just to see where people come from. Apparently some of you have found me through some site that makes fun of things. I'd go and look to see what was said, but it's a paid forum and I'm not interested enough to spend money on a subscription fee.

But you know, this is actually a little bit of awesome. If someone thinks I suck then I must be doing something right :D There is no such thing as bad publicity.

Perhaps you'd also like to visit my nail site, because it may also suck hard.

This is too funny.

Crap on a cracker

2011-10-24T20:36:00.001-05:00

Tell me I'm not the first person accidentally wash a ball of yarn.

Eyelash yarn, no less.

Now.....should I put it through the dryer :P

If ever the Universe was handing out written invitations.....

2011-10-22T21:09:00.001-05:00

...........I got one this week.

"I need a sign," I told the Universe, "I need a sign to know that trying to build an online store is worth my extra tips and leftover paycheque because I'm not feeling too good about putting money into anything new right now and you know I have been thinking that now is a good time for an emerging mid-life crisis and new career path."

And this is the week that I have proceeded to react to everything that I use at work, everyday. Doing acrylic nails left me with a nasty red rash on the web between my thumb and forefinger (where the brush handle is) and I went through all of my lotions: Hempz, OPI, and CND, trying to find just ONE that would not make my forearms turn into hot, itchy, nasty dermatitis.

Not a one. Poo. I love OPI Absolute, too. You have no idea how much I heart that acrylic. Even the nail dust from filing after the acrylic was cured, was flying up my arm and burning, too. Damn.

And, sadly, most of this stuff has the same ingredients because the majority of what we use, professional and mass market, come from just a handful of labs, so I doubt I will have much luck with too many other products.

Damn.

I can still do gels, though. The gel that I use is based on polyurethane technology, not methacrylates, which other brands, like Light Elegance, Star, LCN, Axxium, Brisa, etc are made with.....which is what the acrylic that I now officially react quite colourfully to is also made with.

Oh, and my pants are falling off, but I think that's just the diet and exercise kicking in, and has nothing to do with beauty supplies. :P

Day One

2011-10-17T08:34:00.003-05:00

So I got a copy of the South Beach Diet last week when I was book shopping. I got most of my groceries yesterday, but I have already discovered before breakfast is over and done with that I have to make another trip, for vegetable cocktail, tomato juice, and a truckload of fish. *Sigh* This is what happens when Dave drags me to the grocery store on Sunday. It is too crowded and chaotic for me. I like doing this on Monday morning when it's just me and a handful of little old ladies cruising the aisles. But anyway, let's focus on what I *do* have and not on what I don't, lol.

I am doing this diet because Atkins did nothing for me. In fact, I think if I hadn't been exercising, I might have gained weight. Then came the whole "just make healthy choices" mindset, which didn't work, either, followed by my doctor's advice "drink 4 litres of water every day and only eat when you're so hungry that you could eat a horse". The only problem with that logic is that I CAN eat a horse, I am pretty sure of that. I love eating. One would assume that choking on my own heart four mornings a week doing kettlebell workouts would cause me to drop pounds, and although I am shrinking, I am not losing weight. Now you can give me the whole "muscle takes up less space than fat" argument, but I have been working out since February. According to all these stupid health experts, I should be halfway to my weight loss goal, when I might be squeaking in at 10%.

So we'll give South Beach a whirl and if that doesn't work then I will probably just have to accept that I am a fat chick who can pump some iron and maybe skinny just isn't in my cards. No pretty for me. Damn, I was hoping to be a sexy MILF, not a matronly one with diabetes and heart disease.

Moving right along.........

My son was not picked to be a hair model over the weekend. He was chosen to be the project manager of the student volunteers AND he was the personal assistant to Chase, Chief and Aaron, stylists on the education team of Laurent D, celebrity hairstylist, and the only apprentice that Vidal Sassoon ever took on. Now this probably means nothing to 99.9% of you reading this, but these guys are big wheels in the hair industry and my little pookie boo gets to work with them. He did so well over the weekend that he also assisted Laurent and was invited to volunteer at the cutting class today. I cheerfully approve skipping school for an alternative education day. These opportunities don't present themselves everyday.

The infamous Tabatha was also a guest celebrity stylist at this weekend event. According to my son, "That bitch snuck over to our snack table and stole the last strawberry strudel!!!!" For whatever reasons, I find that hilarious.

In other news.........

I ran out of tumeric coloured yarn with only ten rows to go on my last panel for this blanket I am making. Go me!!!! This requires, of course, a search and rescue expedition for one skein of yarn. Who wants to lay bets that another four or five also jump into my handbasket, begging to be rescued.

I ran out of said yarn while watching The Walking Dead. It's back for another season, yaaaaay!!!! This show makes me want to crochet little zombies. I do have a copy of Creepy Cute Crochet, so I will have to dig it up.

In still other news, I am preparing a business plan to open a yarn store. My focus will be on crochet and Tunisian crochet tools because there are already a million places out there that cater to knitters. I'd also like to start selling hand-dyed yarn, but I am happy to just plan for selling tools right now. It is really, really frustrating to visit all these manufacturer websites, find out that I have to order from a store, and then find out that the store doesn't carry anything I need anyway and they won't be ordering what I want any time soon because I am the only one asking. The store will start out online, but eventually I would like a bricks and mortar version. I was going to do it with a girlfriend but then she suddenly became negative about the whole thing and dropped out. Strange, but whatever. I've been in the beauty industry long enough to not bother overthinking the behaviour of women, hahahaha.

Too Early!!!

2011-10-16T00:09:00.002-05:00

I was in a Starbucks in downtown Winnipeg working on another Tunisian Crochet project this morning at about 7:30 am....why so early? Because I took the bus downtown with my 16 year old son so that he wouldn't get lost and miss a model call for a big beauty industry show happening tomorrow. I was killing time so as not to be seen by people who might realize that my son has parents......because you know I'm not cool. My son, by the way, takes hairstyling in high school. He's really good at it. If you have an ADD child who brings you to your knees and makes you want to pour whiskey into your gouged out eyesockets, put them in hairstyling. Trust me on this one, I've been in the beauty industry for almost 15 years. Hairstyling and Nailtech are chockablock full of people with all sorts of isms :D :D :D Your gifted children will fit right in.

So, lucky him, he doesn't get picked as a model, he gets picked to be the project leader of the student volunteers. And he gets to work with "theapprenticeoftheapprenticeofVidalSassoonmomdoyouknowwhoVidalSassoonisandIgettomeetTabithafromthattvshowmaybewellshewillbethereandhopefullyIcanmeetherandCharleneshegotmeaventitriplelattesomethingtodrinkandtheykeptgivingmepizza............."

0_o

"Promise me if you get to meet Tabitha that you will say hello, and that will be it."

So anyway, I was cooling my heels in Starbucks at 7:30am, drinking a feedbag full of coffee, waiting for him to text me about what the plan was, because hair model calls usually only last 20 minutes, not two hours. In that time, I picked my latest crochet project out of my bag and started working on it. It is a four panel blanket, done in a tumeric coloured yarn, and I have a few skeins of a red/gold/orange variegated yarn that I will use to make trim and interlocking tassels. It's nice looking so far, I am doing two different Tunisian panels. If it's done in time I will ship it to my father for his birthday in November. If not, then he and my mother will get it for Christmas.

Anyway, one by one, the women who were coming in to get their morning wake-up before opening the businesses in the area, started leaving the line-up to come look at what I was doing.

"Are you knitting or crocheting?"
"What is that?"
"It's growing so fast!!!"
"Can I touch that?"
"I don't want to sound like a stalker, but can I just sit here and watch for a minute?"

Even some of the guys had to come over and look. Engineers, HA!!! They get right into it. It never ceases to amaze me how many people love this stuff. The other thing was how many of them were interested in Tunisian Crochet. It's been around for a long time, but it seems like in the last couple of years, it's gotten really, really COOL. So yeah, I had a small crowd of briefcase-toting hangers-on today, getting a free lesson in Tunisian Crochet. It made 90 minutes pass by quickly because as soon as one gaggle of people would go to work, another would come in and the process would repeat. Even the baristas were getting into it.

<3

New Pattern Coming

2011-10-11T15:14:00.001-05:00

I am making a blanket for a present. When I'm done I'll share.....somewhere :P

Motivated Heretic done!!!

2011-10-08T16:31:00.001-05:00

I am done, yay!!! I just have to weave in the loose ends. I am changing up the pattern into a mobius shawl so I can wear it at work without having it flop around.

Baaah!!!

2011-10-02T13:27:00.001-05:00

Me and my germs are not going anywhere.

Poo.

I'm a raving feverish snot machine.

The Motivated Heretic

2011-09-29T14:14:00.001-05:00

It grows and grows and keeps growing!!! This wrap has been such a pleasure to make, I will have to make Sangria when this is done. I can seriously see myself making every project in this book. This is odd for me, usually I get a pattern book and make one thing. This puts this book in the same pile as Kathleen Griffin Grimes' French Girl Knits, Doris Chan's Everyday Crochet, and both of Jane Snedden Peever's Aran Crochet Sweater books.

These are the books that I would pack to go live in Mongolia, should I ever be faced with that "Whatever Shall I Take With Me To Ulaanbaatar" decision. :D

Hoopla!!!!

2011-09-28T10:16:00.000-05:00

A presentation and book signing from the author of Hoopla: The Art of Unexpected Embroidery(Arsenal Pulp Press) with special guest Takashi Iwasaki.

That's right!!! Local fibre artists, come out to McNally Robinson this Sunday to meet Leanne Prain and Taskashi Iwasaki. Book signing and stitch and bitch afterwards....so bring your books, bring your yarn, and let's get busy!!! Click the link on the right of this post for more info.

You know, for the first time, I am actually hoping that no one registers for my yarn class on Sunday, because I really, really want to go to this:D

Sneak peeks:

Bad Coley, bad, bad!!!

2011-09-27T10:10:00.001-05:00

I skipped the kettlebells for five days. At first it,, was because I genuinely didn't feel well, but by Saturday sheer laziness set in and I just didn't bother.

I paid for this, this morning as I cursed and swore at the Cute Perky Bitch on my TV screen.

It hurts to get in and out of my chair. But it's a good hurt....that's what I will tell myself :D

Entrelac

2011-09-26T15:33:00.001-05:00

I <3 entelac crochet!!!

New Blogsite

2011-09-24T14:01:00.001-05:00

I created a new blogsite called The Left Hand Craft.

I don't know how often I will update it, but it is there for those who want to look. I made it as a way to store my instructions because I am left handed and I am constantly reworking other peoples' patterns. This is why I started designing my own. Most of the time it does not matter which hand is dominant but when you start getting into cabling and travelling stitches, and entrelac, then crochet gets frustrating in a way that makes me want to gouge my eyes out. In trying to find my place in the yarniverse, it has occurred to me that this might be my little niche because all of my patterns are left-hand friendly. It's not that I don't like right-handed crafters, but there are enough nice patterns out there for you folks :D

Anyway, if you know left handed people who might benefit by this, send them the URL.

http://www.thelefthandcraft.com/

Kettlebell update

2011-09-23T21:00:00.000-05:00

I got busy this week and forgot to update my progress. I don't think anyone out there will find this interesting but I need to start blogging it for myself so that I can stay motivated. I got a heavier kettlebell, a 20lb one, because the 15lb bell was too light. Technically, according to all the things I've seen online, I should be using a 12kg/27lb bell, but I can't find one in Winnipeg. Here's to hoping I find one before November because I figure I will be done with the 20lb one by then.

Anyway, for the first time in about ten years, in a moment of bravery, I crossed the floor of the department store and bought shirts and sweaters in the normal size section. My ass is still in the plus size section, but at least there are no W's or XX's after my sweater sizes anymore. I was holding my breath in the changing room, waiting to be disappointed and that didn't happen. I ended up buying two shirts and a sweater. Then I went home and did something I've never done, which is gather up all my fat clothes, and throw them the hell out. Maybe I won't get bigger if I don't have anything plus sized to pour myself into after lapses in nutritional judgement:D

I can't tell you how thrilling it was to be able to buy in the cute section of the department store, have it fit, and pay nice prices for things. I don't foresee myself becoming a clothes horse, but a sweater for 19.99 in size L beats the hell out of the same sweater in size 2X for 49.99. I pulled out my pattern books and started going through them, noting that I can now start making most of them without having to go through the whole rigamorole of rewriting them to a plus size.

I am still a chubby monkey, but at least I am a smaller monkey!!!

Brrrrr

2011-09-14T18:51:00.001-05:00

OMG it's time to make the mittens!!!!

Except, of course, that this will not get finished. Like so many other knitting projects started with the best of intentions, it will rot on my couch until either the couch eats it, or one of the guys kicks it on the floor to make space for their feet at which point the cats will turn it into a chew toy. I rarely finish anything that I knit. Rarely. It's not that I hate knitting, but I just can't see myself making row after row of boring little stitches, night after night, when I could be finished the same type of item with crochet in hours, or a couple of days. I am amazed at the fortitude of women who can knit stranded sweaters on tiny little needles with fingering weight yarn, and work steadily for weeks. If it were me, I'd throw up and cry.

So, no more knitting. I should donate my needles to a worthy cause. I don't know what that cause would be, but I should find one because they take up valuable real estate in my tickle trunk.

Cuffs for mittens

2011-09-13T16:11:00.001-05:00

I have a rare few moments in the salon to nibble an energy bar and work on a crocheted mitten pattern.

Nothing to do with yarn

2011-09-13T13:07:00.001-05:00

In my day job, I am an esthetician. My job is physically demanding sometimes, but mostly I am at my nail table pumping out the blingy nails. I noticed a disturbing trend at trade shows, in the the hair stylists stay all hot and sexy, but the longer we skin and nail people stay in the industry, the bigger we get. The hair people are on their feet all day and we are sitting. I know more middle-aged nail techs that are fat and diabetic than are not.

I am not 300lbs of pancreatic failure.....yet. I am a chubby monkey, though. I woke up to the reality that this will be me, though, so I started taking steps to change this. I joined a gym in March and started working out three to four times every week. From March to July I only lost 8 lbs but I went from a size 22 to an 18. Then I stayed the same for the rest of the summer. Increasing weights did nothing, and I was getting frustrated because I was saying no to all the food I loved eating and watching my family enjoy my culinary efforts while I sat there and had another boring low carb meal.

A couple of weeks ago I said "screw it" and ate pasta. Then I had dessert. Ooooh, defiant. My family literally stared at me as I enjoyed a glass of wine, a buttered roll, and fettucine.....rebellious.

At the same time, I also picked up a kettlebell. I have two friends, one in Nevada, and one in London, who are kettlebell trainers. I will say, the tbought of swinging a cast iron purse around did not thrill me. I am more of a Zumba person, you know, kicky, upbeat, and fun, not all "RAAAARRRRRGGGH" and male.

But, I figured, what the hell. The weight circuit isn't working anymore. Cardio training gives me great stamina, but I am still a fat chick who can outrun the skinny chicks, which is great for when the zombies rise up, but the whole point of this was to not cause people to need therapy when I wear skinny jeans.

So yes, I have been rebelliously eating whatever the hell I want for supper, and instead of going to the gym every morning I am doing kettlebells in my basement. In this time I have gone from a DD to a C cup. I have a buch of size 18 shirts and 44DD bras gathering dust in a pile in my room. I went out bra shopping (a hated activity before) and got 40C's. Wow. Holy shit. And that is with the dreaded evil carbs.

I am still afraid of the scale. :)

I still do not like working out. I drag myself out of bed, I make myself do it, and I still try to talk myself out of it.

But, when the clients ask me what I'm doing differently, as much as I hate doing it, I have to say, kettlebells rock.

Blue Sock of Happiness

2011-09-11T09:11:00.001-05:00

OK, I had a polite letter the other day from someone who was continually decreasing their lace pattern. I have posted some remarks in the pattern notes at ravelry. I was hoping to get a tutorial filmed but so far I can not seem to find anyone in the family willing to hold the camera while I crochet. Men, teenagers, pfffft!!!I will keep trying, perhaps this time I will use financial bribery. It seems to work in other situations. :)

......and now to begin the next one.....

2011-09-06T21:17:00.001-05:00

Done!!!!

2011-09-06T19:04:00.001-05:00

But no ends in the body are woven in.

But I am still technically done.

Merde, alors!!!

2011-08-21T16:09:00.001-05:00

I sealed the card up and got it ready for mail.

THEN.....

I remembered that I was going to photograph the inside. You will just have to use your imaginations: there is a symbol that shows up on the palms of several Buddha statues in Asia. I did that, in black yarn. More recent Reiki traditions refer to it as the Palm Master Symbol, and charge you a lot of money for the privilege of using it. I am a bigger believer in sharing.

Another card

2011-08-20T18:14:00.001-05:00

This one is for a Reiki healer who just found out that she has a malignancy in her uterus. I have to wait for Mr. Snake to dry before I do the inside because I've already squished his little glitter eyes once. He makes the ouruboros around a triskelle that is coloured specifically for love and letting go, with a citrine in the middle. I will finish it tomorrow and post pics of the inside.

You mean there are other uses for scrap yarn?

2011-08-15T15:42:00.001-05:00

Until last night, when I furiously crocheted some little hearts, I did not love paper crafting.

Oh, but I do now.....:D

Hopefully my mother forgives me. :*)

Yay!!!!!!

2011-08-13T18:25:00.001-05:00

Sleeve #1 is done!!!!!! Now to suffer through Sleeve #2. :D

I should be working, hahaha

2011-08-12T14:46:00.001-05:00

This is part of a sweater. I hope it works, and if it does, it will get put out to the universe in some way. If my next manicure client is late, I may be able to get the shaping started.

This is a sleeve, BTW. I know it doesn't look like one :)

Foo Foo: Dans la rue....:D

2011-07-25T18:37:00.001-05:00

It is another July and my parents have graciously offered to take The Child away for a little while. While cleaning out the void from hell that is my buffet, I came across a lovely hank of Malabrigo lace weight yarn and got to thinking. It's been two years since I put Foo Foo out to the universe, surely it is time for another hugely impractical pair of stockings made in this gushy awesome yarn. And, I haven't shared anything in a long time. Then I started crocheting and changed my mind again. That happens. Frequently. Those close to me refer to it as "annoying" while I like to think of it as the "creative process".

The first Foo Foo was gushy and soft and I still love those stockings, but you know what? I've been working out a lot and I have these muscles now making an appearance underneath all this cutesy mom chub that I have accumulated over the years. This makes it difficult to wear fishnets made from gushy, soft, but not quite stretchy yarn. I got the first sock up to my calf and that was it. No amount of gauge switching or increasing was going to make this sock go over my abundant calf muscle. So, it dawned on me halfway through Bad Teacher on Saturday night, that I had this ball of bright smashing red Lana Grossa stretchy cotton sock yarn that was also purchased at about the same time that the original Foo Foo socks were made, but it had never been touched. For shame!!!! I had this vision of myself wearing adorably somewhat sexy vintage socks with my lacy slip skirt while I fussed over baguettes, fresh herbs, and Merlot at le marché, while La Bolduc played merrily in the background. No such place exists in Winnipeg, though, so I will have to be happy with the bakery at Safeway and the Manitoba Liquor Commission next door to it.

In my fantasy I was also wearing an excellent little cardigan, the likes of which I will have to conjure in another pattern. And a fingerwave. I need to find a hairstylist that can give me a fingerwave.

Apparently it is also considered bad form to pull out your phone and start making pattern adjustments in the middle of a movie.....but again, I see if differently. I like to think of this as "multi-tasking during the boring scenes" not "poor smart phone etiquette" Mental note to me: from now on, always sit in the farthest corner of the back row, just in case inspiration strikes again :D

I did actually see most of Bad Teacher and it was really funny.

The second Foo Foo is a little different this time around. She is still a fishnet stocking, but I am not in a Ford pick-up truck being the navigator over cruddy rotten roads. I'm at home in my dining room where I have time to count and spend a little more time fussing. This is still a simple pattern, though, and despite the stopping and starting to scribble notes and eat a surprise lunch brought home by The Man, I was done the body of the foot this afternoon at 13:30 and I only started at 12:00. Foo Foo Two may be a little more interesting to look at, but she is still quick. After all, The Child is only gone for a limited time and in the spirit of all things foo-foo, there is love to be made in every room of the house yet again :D

And bonus, because this sock is done in a stronger yarn, you could wear this out to do your running around. In fact, I have plans that do involve baguettes and roast chicken, and these socks will be on my feet:)

Supplies:
1skein of Lana Grossa Meilenweit Cotton stretchy sock yarn, any colour. I have a great love of "drop dead red"
3.50mm hook
Stitch markers for the cautious, or, in the spirit of Foo Foo, throw caution to the wind!!!
Darning needle
A glass of red wine from somewhere sexy....France, Chile, or Argentina come to mind. I'm enjoying a nice Argentinian Cabernet:)

Gauge: beginning motif without extra increase rounds is 2 3/4" across

Note:
This hook in this pattern with a stretchy sock yarn will produce a very stretchy fishnet stocking. You may not need to size up in hook, but you may want to size down if you have skinny little legs.

Toe:
The toe is worked as a motif. Small sizes stop at round 3 of the motif as published in "Beyond the square: Crochet Motifs", by Edie Eckman. The motif is on pg 91 and the schematic is pictured below. All of Edie's motifs begin with a sliding loop, or you can chain 2, and begin working into the 2nd chain from the hook. Small sizes should work one round of sc as an extra round 4, increasing by 2 sts for a total of 44 sts. Join rnd with ss and proceed to netting.

Medium/Large women's sizes should add an extra increase round after round 3 of the motif:

Round 4: Chain 3 (counts as dc in between motif "petals" formed in round 3), dc in each of next 7 sts of motif petal, work dc in space between previous petal and next petal, work dc in each of 7 sts of next motif petal, carry on like this all the way around, thus increasing 6 sts evenly. Join rnd with ss and proceed to netting. 48 sts.

Begin working the netting:

Round 1: Chain 5, count 3 sts from first st in rnd, place sc in next st, skipping over the others, chain 5, count three sts, sc in the next one, repeat around. At the end of the round, don't place a sc in the last st, but instead ss into the the bottom of the first chain. (11, 12 ch-5 sp). Ss into the middle of this chain space and simply repeat the netting around and around. You can mark the first ch-5 space and move the marker up as you go. Work 12 rounds. These photos were shot with the original Malabrigo yarn that I started using Saturday afternoon, not the red Lana Grossa that I ended up making the socks with, but colour aside, this is what your sock should look like.

Ignoring the fact that I need a pedicure, this is how FF should fit after 12 rounds are worked. You will have to pull on it to open up the netting and stretch it around. It will look too big for your foot, but it'll fit

Heel:

Treat each chain space as being equal to 4 sts.

Row 1:With right side facing, work 4 sc in (6, 6) chain spaces for a total of (24, 24) sts. If you want a narrower heel, work into one fewer chain space or for a wider heel, work into one more chain space. Chain 1 and turn.

Row 2 (WS): Sc across, skipping last st. Ch 1 and turn. 23sc
Row 3: Sc across, skipping last st. Ch 1 and turn. 22sc

Carry on like this, building the first side of the heel, until you have 12 sts left on your last RS row.

Heel ready for turning

Sc2tog in side edge and st below

Turn the heel:

Ch 1, turn, work across the 12 sc, and, working into the side of this st, and into the next sc below, make a sc2tog. Work a ss into the next side edge below. 13 sc. Turn.

Skipping the ss, sc in the 13 sc, and work a sc2tog into the side edge of the 13th sc and the one below, then work a ss into the side edge below that. 14 sc. Turn.

Repeat this process until you have "picked up" your original 24 sts.

Heel finished!!! Yay!!!

Now the real fun begins!!! When you have picked up your last heel st, the right side should be facing and you will continue on working in netting across the chain spaces of the instep. If the right side is not facing then you made a boo boo in your foo foo. You have two options: either rip back the heel and try to figure out where you went wrong, or pour another glass of wine, shrug your shoulders and work another row on the heel to orient yourself to the correct position. Since it's a heel and not a blood transfusion, I choose option #2 every time, hahaha. If you have the right amount of sts, but are facing the wrong side, then you probably worked into a ss. No worries. The nice thing about heels is that no one will notice except perhaps, that really anal-compulsive yarn geek at the local yarn store.

:D

Work one round of the ch-5 netting. If you want, just keep working in a straight netting tube all the way up the leg, just like the original Foo Foo.

Nice fans, just because

Fans stretched up the back of my heel

However, this is a good time to get whimsical. If you want to get whimsical in the way that I did, you need an even number of ch-5 netting spaces so do an increase in the round after the heel turning to rectify this. FYI, you are better off increasing than decreasing. If you are working on 11 chain spaces in your netting then just work two of these where you would normally work one to get to an even number.

And remember, there is nothing practical about something called Foo Foo. The more whimsical, the better. I mean, you're already making something that's a little bit frivolous to begin with, so you may as well jump right into the deep end. Just make sure that you write your frivolity down so that your socks match :D

My frivolity consisted of isolating the central sc above my heel, and when I got close, I skipped the chain space before and after it and worked 8 tc into that central sc instead. I carried on making netting for the remainder of that round. The next round I worked even, working ch-5,sc up to the 8 tc fan. I worked ch-5 netting over the fan, placing sc sts between the 2nd and 3rd tc, between the 4th and 5th tc, and between the 6th and 7th tc. Had I not done that I would have been short by two netting spaces.

If that makes no sense, have another glass of wine. Eventually things will be clear and you will understand as I do, that yarn and glitter hold the universe together.

I did this, alternating a fan round with a plain netting round, until I had 15 fans up the back of my leg. I worked one more plain netting round, working into my last chain space of that round. Then I slip stitched into the next ch-5 netting and drew up a long loop, about 2/3 the height of a dc, ch 1, and worked a dc (this is something I picked up in Couture Crochet by Lily Chin. It's a way of treating taller stitches like sc, so that there are no funny holes created by counting a turning chain as a stitch.) I worked 4 dc in each ch-5 netting space, joining the round with a ss. The next round I worked 4 dc into the spaces between the previous round's 4-dc groups. I repeated that for the third round and fastened off

The only thing I think I would change, having worn these socks for a bit, is sizing up to a 3.75mm hook for the calf. *Sigh*.....I will never have pretty, dainty, girly legs. Just these sturdy old drumsticks :'(

Voila!!! Foo foo: Dans la rue!!!

Schematic for the toe motif

!!!!!!

2011-07-25T16:47:00.004-05:00

I just did the orientation for Michaels. I know I'm a terrible geek, but I like orientation stuff. Paperwork.....ooooooohhhh.

:P

I do!!!! I like homework, too :D

I go back tomorrow after work as well, to get things set up to start advertising classes.

Eeeeeeek!!!!!

This is real :D :D :D

Foo Foo: Dans la rue

2011-07-24T18:40:00.002-05:00

Almost done!!!! I started blogging a new Foo Foo yesterday and then took it down when another thought hit me, and now there is Foo Foo: Dans la rue.
J'aime toutes les choses foo foo :)

crazycoley.net

2011-07-22T23:56:00.001-05:00

I can't seem to access my account where I had crazycoley.com and I find it odd that it would stop working along with everything else, considering that I paid for another year, but whatever. It's not like I can go to this place and walk through the front door and deal with an actual human being in person.

Meh. Minor inconvenience.

CrazyColey lives on, at www.crazycoley.net, not .com

If you got a pattern from ravelry and it has the .com link at the bottom of the pdf then hopefully you see this:)

However, as I said before, minor inconvenience, not the end of the world.

In other news, short rows no longer make me want to break out in hives.

No crochet today....

2011-07-22T17:02:00.001-05:00

......but if you ever want your nails done, I'm definitely your gal.

App happy

2011-07-18T21:53:00.001-05:00

So this lovely little Android phone has a Blogger app. This means I'll actually blog and post patterns, hahaha. For some reason, over the last two years, I have developed a distinct aversion to sitting down in front of a computer. I'll use a smart phone, but not a pc. Once I went portable, the thought of having to sit still in one spot to use the internet was just wrong. Now if Telus would just come up with a North America voice and data plan, I would be Right. There.

Right now I'm halfway through the wrap vest from Great Garter Stitch. I'm telling you, I <3 garter stitch. I love it more than cables and stranded knitting. I just do. It's so nice all on it's own and there is so much you can do with plain little garter stitch :)

Eeeeek!!!!

2011-07-18T14:51:00.004-05:00

Blogger is all different now!!!

Well, okay, I don't log in anymore. And I don't blog. And I don't do a whole lot of anything online these days, so I shouldn't be too too shocked when things up and change.

Someone was kind enough to comment and let me know that I forgot to link myself to ravelry. Here it is:

http://www.ravelry.com/stores/the-breton-yarnerie

In other news today, I got a part time job instructing knitting and crochet at the Michaels in St.Vital.

0_o

Pinch me, yarnwhores. Pinch me hard!!!!

I can get paid to do this. I can really get paid to do this. I really, really can!!!! Now I just need people to sign up.

Free patterns!!!! :)

2011-06-03T18:40:00.000-05:00

I have logged into ravelry maybe twice this year. I was actually thinking about it on the way home and then this message popped into my phone: "We've been hacked. Please change your password." So now the universe wants me to log into ravelry, if only to change my password:)

So, I figured while I was in there I should have a "Ravelry Got Hacked" Pattern Giveaway. It'll probably be permanent, lol, I always had more fun when the patterns were free and the socks flowed.

At any rate, I think I did it right, but if anyone notices anything that still has a price on it, drop me a line at gefjion@gmail.com

Well

2011-04-24T16:31:00.000-05:00

I have not written on this blog in AGES. I have been scanty in the yarn world, to say the least. At the behest of Dave, I have made 1.5 sweaters this week. Hopefully by tomorrow it will be two full, wearable items of clothing. You know you must be either annoying or irritating when your family presents you with a crochet hook and says, "You don't need a hobby, you have one. Please make something. I'll even buy you yarn......."

I have become a terrible workaholic but I did join a gym. Not skinny yet, not by a long shot, but Dave told me today that he can see my cheekbones:) I wanted "Wow baby, look at that ass" but I'll take cheekbones for now.

Working out has been a great stress reliever in ways that yarn never could. I talked to Dave's mom the other day and after her winter from hell, she has two or three inches of small intestine left. I am amazed that she is still alive. At one point we were doing the death watch because she refused to eat, refused to take care of herself, and had pretty much given up (her downward spiral actually started two years ago with a pre-Christmas diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Since then it's been one thing after another.). I don't know what went on inside her to force a change, but I am glad. I get my long distance knitting buddy back and there is no one else in the world who would think to send me oven mitts shaped like lobsters, just so I don't forget about home.

I have been thinking about yarn and nails (which I do for a living) and the web and how it should all fit together. I like having a website, I like the rambling blog style, but it's a bit like one hand clapping. I talk and you read. I don't know about that. I am thinking about building a new site, one that is more interactive, but that requires time and money. So in the meantime, I will meditate on this while I unravel last year's sweaters and open up my cracked copy of Everyday Crochet and finish making this year's spring and summer clothing.

:)

PS: My phone died. A moment of silence please, for my Blackberry. I tried to buy Canadian, but you know what, Blackberry sucks dirt. It really does. I won't fly off on a tangent, because I think I have in a few past entries, but yes, my second BB in three years up and died on me last night and from the looks of it, it's totally crossed over into the land of Smartphonia, where the sun shines and the Blackberries frolic in the eternal meadows. I know from peeking at my site stats that a significant portion of viewers to this site use their smartphones to come here and that an even more significant portion of them are Android phones. So, fair readers, what phone do you have and what do you like/hate about it?

Blogligations

2011-01-28T20:09:00.002-06:00

I would like to thank the lovely lilacsinmay for extending a blogging award to me:) I will fulfill the obligations of this over the weekend but right now there is a lovely steak and glass of wine calling to me!!!

Mmmmmmm

Oh Ravelry....

2011-01-24T09:33:00.000-06:00

Why does my phone browser only like you some of the time?

Blackberry users, is there a browser that you use and recommend? My RIM browser works some of the time and my Bolt browser works some of the time, but I want one that works all of the time.

LOL

If this wasn't a new contract, I might just ditch Telus for Rogers because in Manitoba, Telus won't let you have anything new or iPhone related :( I don't know why that is.

Poo.

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

And the beat goes on......

2011-01-23T20:52:00.000-06:00

I got chastised by my computer when I logged in this evening.

"You never call, you never email, you never text. It has been 17 days since you last ran windows and boy howdy do we have some updates for you....and by the way, your anti-virus program would also like to speak to you as well."

Sorry.

There was a time when I was never away from this thing for more than 12 hours. I used to break out in hives, I'm sure, if I didn't get my daily dose of the interwebs. Now I have to make myself look for where I left my laptop the last time I used it, lol, and it takes a while.

This working full time business is really cutting into my Sitting On My Butt Time :D

I did make some changes, though. I work for myself now, and I am much nicer boss to work for. I get my lunch breaks at lunch, not dinner, if the clients start to mistake "beauty salon" for "brothel" I don't tell myself to "be nice anyway and take the client", and I don't subject myself to working alongside unlicensed, unschooled workers who hardly speak the language and wouldn't know disinfectant from a can of Spam. It is less money right now, but in about six months I'll be fully booked and in a year I don't think I'll have time for too many walk-ins. I know that's setting up some mighty lofty goals but in my first week of independence I've already had some fully booked days that I was most definitely not expecting.

I am putting more time and energy into my gel business, too, and working on an idea for a new product that I think people in my industry will like.

And now that I've broken the sweater curse, I am turning from a sock machine into a sweater machine. This sweater that I'm working on right now, I'm going to submit to crochetpatterncentral.com when done and hopefully I'll get some feedback on it.

This is what it feels like to have less stress in life!!!!

:D

The curse is broken!!!

2011-01-02T12:00:00.000-06:00

I knit a sweater. A whole sweater. From start to finish, over the holidays. I will overlook the fact that it was done in Bernat Roving and made on 6.5mm needles. I broke the sock curse, I made a sweater, and all was well in the universe.

I have this gift certificate to Ram Wools that showed up in my stocking, so I will have to put it towards a crochet sweater, tomorrow, after my doctor's appt.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=472019&l=e6a1186d0f&id=100000313904993

Renovating

2010-12-26T20:26:00.000-06:00

I am switching things around a bit, and getting ready for the new year. I really do miss coming to this web site and posting, so I resolve (with all of you as my witnesses!!!) to make this website more of a priority than its been since I started working full time. If any of you have any time managements secrets to pass along, no matter how small, let me know because this sleep-work-pee-sleep cycle is not really how I like to live.

I got rid of all my project pages because I have to be honest with myself: I don't have the time to design exotic sweaters and dresses named after my favourite deities, no matter how cool the ideas may be....everything turns into a sock. I think it's time to accept limitations in the yarn world, lol.....I have time for socks. Sweaters overwhelm the hell out of me. So again, time management secrets? Send them, please!!!!

I added a new page for readings. I used to do readings professionally in the past and I've been toying with the idea of getting back in the saddle again. I'd love to cut back my hours at work and become more self-employed again, so it's time to stop being shy and start getting at it again. If you'd like to participate in the de-rust-ifying of my slumbering psychic abilties, then go read that page. If you'd like to tell me how insane I am, well now, just remember that the site ain't named crazycoley for no good reason. Just do like my mother, sigh loudly, throw up your hands, roll your eyes, and wonder where she went wrong:D

And above all, have a wonderful holiday season!!!!!

Holy Cow!!!!

2010-12-21T09:18:00.000-06:00

Well, the year is drawing to a close and I've done hardly anything with yarn. Poo. :(

I have spent most of it working, but I have to say, I signed up at this salon for the experience of working in this particular type of salon and I got exactly what I asked for. :P

I have new peeps here on the following list and I hope I have not bored you to tears with my lack of activity.

Hopefully next year will be a more productive yarn-year!!!!

Welcome, welcome!!!

2010-10-27T16:12:00.000-05:00

More peeps!!!! Welcome aboard:)

I have been bad and not posting much. I do have crochet projects on the go, but I'm also studying Burmese Astrology (Mahabote). This stuff is fun. I may put out a begging request for some practise charts to do.

In other news, I am making a red glittery top down dress. I was somewhat interested in doing it, but became convinced when I showed the magazine pattern to The Man. He snickered and said "A bit ambitious, isn't it?" and proceeded to mock the sweater I knit recently, which, although I followed the pattern and stayed in gauge, still managed to fit me like a fargin snuggie.

So, just for that, I am making this bloody dress. It will look very nice when it is finished and Ricardo, my fantasy lover from Spain, becomes magically real and takes me out. :P

Men are such morons sometimes.

Ravelry Group

2010-10-10T12:36:00.002-05:00

OK, I made a little sock group on ravelry. Now, here's to hoping people join so it gets interesting:)

Hallowe'en

2010-10-05T23:55:00.000-05:00

Is anyone getting a costume together for the best night of the year? :D

I LOVE Hallowe'en, I <3 it so very, very much.

Still working on my costume. I am amazed at how many men "like" (and by "like" I mean "have some strange and twisted perverted fetish for") my costume idea. It's odd.....and I never would have thought it in a thousand years, but then, I'm not male - and happily so. :P

So I did the unthinkable

2010-10-05T09:45:00.000-05:00

I washed my alpaca sweater. 100% hand spun, hand-dyed alpaca, made by some mystical, indigenous womens' artists' collective in the mountains of Chile. Yes folks, I washed "unicorn yarn". I made this about a year ago, and last night I tossed it in the laundry like a cheap WalMart t-shirt.

And no, I am not kidding. :D

See, I made this Doris Chan pattern, it was actually a pattern in the Fall 2007 issue of Interweave Crochet. Lovely diamond yoke top down shell type thingie. The only thing is, though, all of the Doris Chan patterns in the magazines end up fitting me like my Aunt Barbara made them "OH don't you look SWEET.....you'll grow into it, honey...." For whatever reason her book patterns don't fit like that but her magazine ones end up being big on me. Anyway. I made it purposely small and still it was big on me. This is an issue only exacerbated by alpaca, which, although one of my favourite fibres to play with, has crappy memory and tends to hang in a sad way on its own.

So, enter the washing machine. I was good, I put it in cold water because I'm sure if I used hot water it would be the size of a face cloth now. I pulled it out of the machine this morning and......

.........wait for it.............................

.........oh yeah..............................

It fit like a glove.

:D

I decided that putting it in the dryer would be pushing my luck so I'll leave it to air dry and wear it tomorrow.

Dead Set

2010-10-03T15:40:00.000-05:00

I am so in front of the tv tonight for this series. I never watch tv, never. I have difficulty with the remote control and my family laughs at me. For this, however, I will learn the stupid buttons.

Zombies, dudes!!!!!

I said it, I did it....

2010-10-02T20:45:00.000-05:00

....I just couldn't be spontaneous because good tattoo artists aren't available at the drop of a hat.

There you go, my cheeky interpretation of a Jolly Roger, fit for a yarnwhore. Well, actually, that is wrong. This is Derek's interpretation of what I wanted. "Give me a Jolly Roger but instead of crossed bones I want a knitting needle and a crochet hook....and put some yarn in there.....I don't know where.....but I know you can do it" :)

The Day Job

2010-09-26T23:31:00.000-05:00

This is most of what I do during the week at my day job:) If you click on photos and tutorials, you can see some off my work. I love doing nails as much as I love yarn.

I should be sleeping......

2010-09-25T01:09:00.002-05:00

....it is nearly 0100 h, after all.

I have been up late, late, late this evening watching Tammy Taylor business videos, trying to figure out how to make myself better in my day job. The one recurring thought that I have is that I should become self-employed again, because I believe that I'm too independent to make a good employee, but I like where I work. There are some things that are frustrating, but overall, job satisfaction is higher here than at other places I've worked at.

Since I still can't sleep, I'll just keep watching more Tammy Taylor and hopefully some of her acrylic mojo will rub off on me.

:)

Sock Group

2010-09-20T09:28:00.000-05:00

So I've determined that Ravelry does indeed need another sock group, because I haven't started one. LOL. However, the only thing holding me back is my inability to make a nice little group graphic to upload. Yes, I know, moron, thy name is Nicole, but whatever. So in between doing laundry today, making more groovy autumn sweaters, and listening to The Child complain and roll his eyes from the confines of his smelly bedroom, I will be hunting "teh interwebz" for some sort of program that will let me make some cool little picture.

Everyone have a nice day!!!!

:(

2010-09-19T10:04:00.000-05:00

.......and The Child has mono.

While I feel badly for him, I am seriously thinking about smashing his cell phone. What stops me is that the account is in my name, so I'm the one who pays for all this. The cell phone has become the electronic version of the bell. Remember the old comedy routines from the 70s? They all end with that bell being smashed with a hammer. So last night I felt subversive. I shut off the ringer on the house phone and put my cell on silent, thus forcing him to have to communicate in person for what he wants. He may be sick but I am tired of taking phone calls, texts, and facebook messages from the second floor of this house.

Status update: Nick wants ice cream!!!! Now!!!!! Now!!!! I'm sick mom, dammit >:(
Private message between You and The Child: While it may look like there is a family of field mice burrowing in your neck, none of them have tied a piano to your arse. Come downstairs and get it yourself. BTW, your room smells like ass and death. Open a window. Love, Mom xo

:D

Joy!!!!

2010-09-13T00:25:00.000-05:00

I can breathe again!!!!

:D

You know you're sick when you put on your best face, go to work, and promptly get told to go right back home.

hahahahahaha

I don't even think I was there for 15 minutes. BUT, it is a testament to my "evil" bosses. I've never actually had anyone in this industry tell me to go home. Usually they want you drugged up and zombie like to take as many clients as humanly possible. I could never take a sick day at my last job because I was the only employee and the owner lived almost two hours outside the city. *I* was the person who came in when she couldn't, which was quite a bit.

Being sick at home, that was a change.

Now, unfortunately there is no such thing as sick leave in a beauty salon, so I am without pay for last week, although if I was hurting enough I could ask for vacation pay, but I won't. It makes things tight for a couple of weeks but since all the bills are in order and paid up I am not horribly concerned. I should still be able to save something out of this next cheque for studying Thai Massage in Toronto.

I'm glad I overpaid on a few bills this summer and I'm glad that I got my son's birthday present a few weeks ago, even though he doesn't turn 16 until the 23rd of October. Fewer things to worry about.

Now, if a lineup of people would just start coming to the salon to get their nails done or to let me rip some hair out of them, why I'd be set:D

Sick!!!

2010-09-08T00:04:00.000-05:00

I want to breathe, damnit. I want to wake up and NOT feel like there is a block of cement parked on my chest. However, to do that, I have to be able to sleep first. This is not easily accomplished when you can't breathe properly.

>:(

So instead, I am going to pass the time doing really constructive things, like watch Sushi chefs cut meat off fish without killing them, stoned little children coming from the dentist, or whatever other intellectual stimulation is available on youtube.

I could do laundry, but I am willing to bet that requires more oxygen than I am currently capable of pumping into my body.

:P

Comments

2010-09-01T23:14:00.000-05:00

Comments are an issue here at crazycoley. I wish they weren't, but after how many months they still are. Damn. If I wasn't currently experiencing the bliss that is low-carb ketosis, I might actually drown my sorrows in chocolate, but the only chocolate I can have is that wretched splenda-laced stuff at the drug store, so I guess I need a new vice.

More tattoos. That's it!!! I'll drown my frustrations in more ink......except that I can't get in until October for another tattoo......:(

More yarn it will have to be. I am going to hunt for some nice kettle-dyed yarn when I go Fargo this coming long weekend.

I have two projects on the go right now and they both look so great, but I am still afraid to photograph them........:D

Colin James is a Blues GOD.

2010-08-30T18:56:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd share that with y'all.

In case you might have been curious.

:D

More Peeps!!!!

2010-08-23T12:41:00.000-05:00

Exellent!!!

Welcome aboard:)

I have no new patterns right this minute, two that I am almost finished, though. Yes, they are socks. LOL. I give up. Sweaters are not coming out of me.

I was wondering to myself the other day if there might be interest for another sock group on ravelry, but I suffer from this form of stage fright that keeps me from starting one. Its the same fear that prevents me from holding dinner parties because secretly the thought that no one would show up gives me hives:D

However, ink and yarn fix everything, and I might just sneak off today to see about getting a tattoo done:)

Pictures if I do :D

<3

Welcome!!!

2010-08-05T08:08:00.000-05:00

I have picked up another person but I can't tell who, in my list of followers....especially when I'm feeling too bloody stubborn to put on my lovely spectacles. Hopefully years of government training have paid off and I can type this without looking:)

I got some gorgeous Nova sock yarn in an autumn variegated colourway. I have some ideas for more socks. Yes, always with the socks:D

Everyone have a lovely day!!!!

You know there are Maritimers in your house when.......

2010-08-01T18:12:00.000-05:00

.............you find your mother sitting at your kitchen table (note, I said KITCHEN table.....only outside of The Maritimes is it a dining room table.....it's creeping back, dudes....) with a pair of scissors, cutting your dryer sheets into thirds so that you can stretch more use out of them.

And Russell Peters thinks that Indians are cheap, LOL. He obviously hasn't met too many Nova Scotians or Newfoundlanders.

Anyway, my mother has a BComm with a certificate in HR Mgmt, she and my dad live in Qatar most of the year, and from time to time they still act like they just crossed the Canso Causeway yesterday:P

Mom, for the record, I'm pretty sure that I make enough money that I don't have to cut up my dryer sheets, wash the styrofoam meat trays, or put the teabags out on the laundry line or anything like that:D

:)

Baby Bombing

2010-07-31T10:34:00.000-05:00

My brother is going to be a father later on this year. My BFF from high school is now thrilled to be pregnant with her first child. Other assorted garden-variety figures in my life are having babies as well. While my parents were visiting, I got grilled about when I'm going to produce again.

Am I wrong for wanting to be pregnancy free? I have one child already. He will be 16 this October. Let's go back and look at that for a minute. 16. Sixteen. Old enough to drive. Old enough to quit school if he wants. Old enough to get married, have sex, emancipate - in fact, old enough to do everything but drink and vote. 16 = one foot out the door.

I did get a pregnant a couple of times over the last two years but for whatever reasons, I miscarried and that was that. I'm over it. I don't think any more babies will be coming out of me. I would accept a happy accident, but I won't be planning on any babies any time soon.

As I told my mother "I'm 38 for god's sake. THIRTY EIGHT." I know that everyone is having kids now late, late, late in life, but I don't think I want to be one of them. For the love of purl, I just got reading glasses. READING GLASSES!!!!! I am waiting patiently right now for an appointment this afternoon for my first root canal, I find myself more and more interested in things like Freedom 55, microdermabrasion peels, cellulite cream, and hair products that will hide grey. Not baby toys, dirty diapers, or staying up until 5am because some snot-ridden little bundle wants to scream for no apparent reason at all. I will be completely superficial and honest: I enjoy being the only parent at the PTA meeting that doesn't qualify for the senior's discount and doesn't require assistance to get in and out of the itty bitty student desks. Honestly, who in the hell really WANTS to have kids when they are in their 40s???? I mean come on, do people actually look forward to this???? My parents were the same age as GRANDPARENTS as many people I know who are becoming parents for the first time.

"But don't you want to bring life into the world?"

I did. He now routinely ignores me until he is broke or runs out of something. I do get to have conversations with his girlfriend, though. She will speak to me about a variety of subjects that have nothing to do with money and her plans for the evening. She is a very nice girl and I am sure that there will be more like her in the years to come now that the life I brought into the world is dating.

No, no.....I'm pretty sure that my baby-barf and blanket-making days are all over, and I'm okay with that. Now if everyone else would just accept that and get the conversation moving along to something else, we could all get on with our day!!!

:D

Another Free One

2010-07-25T21:19:00.000-05:00

OK fellow ravellers and other assorted yarnwhores.....I made my Crocheted Cabled Cottage Socks (say that several times after a few beers, I dare you!!!) free. That is correct. FREE. Now please, if the price was the only thing stopping most of you from making those damned socks, you now have no excuse. Download it and make them. It has been purchased by people but then they mysteriously disappear....sometimes I wonder if they choked to death on the cables.....these things keep me up at night, you know. I love making cabled socks and I need feedback, so make that blessed sock and tell me what you think. One of these days I'd love to put out a book of crocheted cabled socks but so far no luck with publishers in hawking my idea. Maybe the world just isn't ready for crochet cabled socks, or maybe I should just not quit my day job....and take up roller derby instead of crochet for a hobby :P

You can find them here

OMGWTFBBQ!!!!

2010-07-19T20:45:00.001-05:00

My boss likes the idea of me becoming a Thai Massage Therapist.

!!!!!!!!!!

:D

Some new things cooking

2010-07-18T23:16:00.000-05:00

I am all fired up about stuff that has nothing to do with yarn.

0_o

I know, I know....be still your hearts. It is possible. At my new salon, one of the owners is trained in one particular form of Thai massage. She has taught me and I've become very good at it and I'm in demand. I LOVE it. I think she might love me to love Swedish massage more because the salon charges more money for that, but whatever. I've been doing Swedish for years. It's boring. I have always been interested in reflex points, herbalism, energy work, all that stuff. I considered studying Ayurveda at one point and becoming a doctor of that discipline but the money eluded me, as did the ability to stash my son in a cubby hole and run away to India and the US to complete the training.

Anyway.

I went looking for books about Thai massage this weekend because when I love something, I want to tear it apart and learn everything there is to know about it. I want to completely deconstruct everything and put it back together because that's how I am. I am the person who pushes the red button, LOL, especially if I've been told not to.

So imagine my surprise to find a book written by a teacher of Thai massage who has a school in Montreal and a school in Toronto. Joy!!!!! So, my current goal is to save up the money necessary to go to the school in Toronto and take the first part of the training. Holy shit, am I excited!!! I haven't been this fired up about anything in my industry in years. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but at this point everything that I've encountered has been something that I've already learned, dressed up in a different wrapper. This is different, and I can't begin to tell you how great I feel after I do these massages for clients, and they feel pretty darned fabulous, too, because they come back and they tell their friends about me. My goal is to be booked lock, stock, and barrel with Thai massage and never ever do another boring mani/pedi again. Hell, I'd even trade all my Brazilian clients for Thai massage clients and that's saying a lot because if you ever read my tweets, ripping the hair out of someone's cootch has been, until now, my favourite way to end the day.

0_o

Yeah, I know. I'm probably not right, but whatever.

Anyway, I tried for years to get people into aromatherapy, herblism, reflexology, and all the things that I'm into, but with only limited success. This place I'm at seems to be the magic magnet and I get to do all those things in tandem with my Thai massage appointments, and the clients benefit, and they come back for more.

Coley is excited about the industry again:D

Spring Garden Socks

2010-07-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

I had originally meant for this pattern to be for sale, but you know what? I liked doing this more when I could just post and share. So, in the spirit of sharing, here is a free pattern, the likes of which I have not done in a very long time.

Those who know me in person know that I am not much of a fuzzy wuzzy unicorn type of gal, so these socks really get some looks from friends, who expect to see me in spiked and cable stockings more than anything else. They're cute, though, and secretly I like cute!!! That will be our little secret, ok? Between you, me, and the millions of surfers online.

Sisu sock yarn
2 skeins of blue
1 skien of green
3.25mm hook
48 sc = 8.5"
Making this pattern as per my numbers will result in a sock that will fit a US Women's 9.

Note: for those of you who purchased my pattern "Blue Sock of Happiness", this cluster pattern is basically the same, but not offset. The clusters are stacked on top of each other. At the time that I made these socks, back in May (I think), the stacked clusters reminded me of rows of newly sown seeds.

This sock is customizable, but the leaf cuff needs to be adjusted such that it has an odd number of shells. This way it will produce a nice triangle ending in one shell, to form the tip of the leaf. This leaf tip should be on the outside ankle, unless you want to put it somewhere else:D

Stacked Cluster Pattern:
Rnd 1: ch1, *sc2tog (cluster made), ch1, rep around.
Rnd 2: *sc2tog over ch sp and cluster in rnd below, ch 1.

Repeat rnd 2 for body of foot and area above ankle as directed.

Using blue, Ch 11, sc across bottom bumps of chain (10 sc), mark 10th st, flip chain and sc across top of sts, marking last st (20 sc)

Rnd 1: inc before and after each marked st for a total of 4 incs per rnd.
Rnd 2: work even.

Repeat these two rnds to a total of 48 sts for a size 9.

Beg lace pattern and work until sock measures 2" less than length of foot.

Shape heel:

Work in lace pattern across first half of sts, this is the instep. Work across second half of sts (ch spaces count as sts) in sc. Do not join ends of round. This is row 1 of your short row heel. Ch 1 and turn. 24sts

Next row: work sc across, leaving last st unworked. 23sts

Repeat this row to 12 sts, RS completed, ready to turn for WS. You will now turn the heel:

Turning Heel:

Work across 12 sc, work sc2tog across side edge and unworked sc below, ss on next side edge below, turn. 13sc

Next row: Skip ss, sc across 13 sc, repeat instructions for picking up 14th st.

Continue working like this until you have picked up 24 sc again and your heel is turned. Continue on working in the round, RS facing, in established lace pattern. Work as many rounds as you need, to make a sock that extends above your ankle or to desired length.

Change colours and work 2 rnds of hdc in green. Fasten off. Mark beg/end of rnd.

Reattach yarn 6 sts before end of rnd. You will be crocheting an overlapping cuff so now is when you will decide which sock is left and which sock is right:) The "leaf" overlap will be over your inside ankle.

Work Row 2 in flo: join yarn with ss in appropriate st, ch 1, work sc in same st, ch 3, sk 2 hdc, sc in next hdc, rep around, do not join end of rnd. Continue past your beginning of rnd, working in blo, making 4 more pattern reps. Replace the last sc with a ss.

Row 3: turn, work shell (2dc, ch2, 2dc) in next sc, sc in next sc, shell in next sc, sc in next sc, work around placing ss in last sc.

Row 4: turn, ss into ch space of shell, shell in next sc, sc in next ch sp, work across, placing ss in last chain sp.

Repeat this row, decreasing in a triangular shape until there is one shell at the "tip" of your leaf. Fasten off, weave in ends.

The New Project Curse

2010-07-03T23:49:00.000-05:00

Firstly, welcome to the new folks who are following me:)

Secondly, there are things being done even though they haven't been posted. The thing is, I am so afraid to post them because of this New Project affliction that I suffer from. I will bring home copious amounts of yarn, plan out everything on graph paper down to the last stitch, start off with a bang and then when I've posted photos of my earliest efforts, out it fizzles....gone to the frog pond and it ain't coming back.

I wonder if others suffer from the same condition that I do, and if there might be a name for it.

For example, I have the yoke of what will be (I hope) a lovely long top-down blouse. I can see it in three-dimensional perfection in my head and I know exactly what I have to do to make it happen. I even have a name for it.....this is the second incarnation of Sif. BUT, as much as \I so badly want to take a picture of it to show everyone, whenever I do that, the $@^$&# thing never gets finished. Never!!!

So you'll just have to be content in the knowledge that Sif rocks. Boy does she ever. I think I'll wait until I've joined the sleeves and I'm working on the body in the round before I take a photo. Maybe then I'll actually finish this.

:D

Netbook Joy

2010-07-03T15:55:00.000-05:00

I went to WalMart to buy underwear. I left with a new netbook instead.

JOY!!!!!

Let the patterns resume:)

Socks!!!

2010-07-03T12:56:00.000-05:00

Working on a pair of socks with some gorgeous Plymouth sock yarn I picked up in Fargo the other day. Bless those ladies at Prarie Yarns.

Unfortunately I still don't have a computer to upload photos. For now I'm calling it "Trout" but all things with me are subject to change.

I'm also knitting a top down blouse with some Rowan Summer Tweed. I'm totally winging this one.

Y'all will just have to use your imaginations.

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

:(

2010-06-19T09:01:00.001-05:00

Still no computer yet. *sigh*

BUT, I have a new job. Its full time and I'm very busy.

But they're on a two week delay system so it'll be a month before I get paid.

But when I get paid I can buy a little notebook that my son will never, ever be allowed to touch, and I'll be back online again.

:)
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

No computer!!!

2010-05-31T11:24:00.002-05:00

My computer is totally fried!!!

Damn:'(

Last winter I spent close to $150 fixing it after my son attempted to become the porn baron of his high school. If I end up being faced with another bill like that, I may as well get another one. Since my current day job has cut my hours down to almost nothing (but yet my boss won't lay me off!!!) I'ver been looking for other work. These $167 paydays are killing me, as was a stupid statement on her part that I have no real stress or real problems in the current economy because I live with a man and am therefore some sort of kept woman in her mind, so she can cut me without laying me off because I work for something to do. Yup, this was a conversation we had one day.

Kept woman, my arse.

/ end rant :p I don't do those often, but when I do, I always feel better:D

I found a nice salon to go to next week, and yes, if all goes well then I will no longer be teaching in a trade school. I will be the in-house teacher for a bunch of salons in Winnipeg and possibly Chicago. I hear the yarn runs wild in Chicago:D

Getting back to my fried laptop....if anyone sends me a message on ravelry then I can not open it with browsers on my BlackBerry. For some reason Bolt does not like ravelry and insists on telling me that I am entering my password wrong and my RIM browser lets me into ravelry but won't let me open any messages!!!

Maybe after a couple of paycheques I'll get a new laptop AND a new phone. Lol.

The truly sucky rotten part that makes me want to divebomb headfirst into a Hefty bag of Doritos is that I had patterns in there that I wanted to put on this blog and submit to crochetpatterncentral.com and of course, I didn't also save them somewhere else.

Grrrrrrr

Go me >:(
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

It pays to wear your work!!!

2010-05-27T18:47:00.001-05:00

I love the sweater that I'm wearing. Not only does it get me compliments, but another hooker noticed it while I was waiting for the bus. She was such a nice lady, I hope I run into her on ravelry.

We're everywhere!!! Joy!!!

:D
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Garden 2010 :)

2010-05-23T18:35:00.002-05:00

So this being Victoria Day Weekend, when we as Canadians ~~honour one of the most prolific of our English oppressors,~~ ~~drink ourselves silly and pretend we know how to do BBQ~~, do our gardening and planting, because for most of the country winter is over. Except Nunavut, but somehow I don't think gardening is really big in the Arctic. So I put my homebrew in the fridge to get cold, defrosted some chicken and ribs for the grill, and set about to get my gardening done.

This is the centre of my front garden, with nice little rows of Impatiens. I didn't realize how many were in the little baskets I got, until I had to start making space in my edible garden to put them. Hopefully they don't take over too much, but I'm sure that my Sage will keep them in check since that overtakes everything.

These are my herbs, this year I put in Peppermint, Rosemary, Thyme, and Sage. I threw some Sunset Marigolds in there, too, because they keep a lot of the critters away. These herbs don't look like much right now, but they will grow to the point of taking over everything. I didn't put as many in as I wanted because the cats ate most of my seedlings. You can't see them, but my green oninons are in there, too, they came back this year with no effort on my part:)

This is a front shade garden that we built last summer. There is nothing edible in it, because nothing that I've ever planted in it that could be eaten seems to grow. Right now it's full of Dahlias, Impatiens, Scottish Moss and some bundles of prairie grass. There isn't anything in the garden right behind it, but next payday I will put in some hastas.

These are some of my tomato plants. I am planting three different varieties this year, just to see which ones I like better. I am still working on last year's tomatoes and for that matter, last year's herbs.

This is Bob the Attack Squirrel, my stationary garden guardian. I don't expect him to do anything other than collect birdshit, but what the hell. Bob is cool.

It looks like a tumbleweed was squished in my strawberry patch, but it's actually a bunch of old leaves and weeds placed over the entrance of a burrow that currently houses two baby bunnies. Mom was nearby watching carefully when I came out to the back garden to snap a shot of this, so I zoomed in and kept a respectful distance. I usually watch them playing in the strawberries while I'm cleaning in the kitchen.

The dirty gardener, LOL!!! It's a wee bit windy out and once again, I've got dirt on my face:D

Welcome, welcome!!!!

2010-05-12T18:13:00.000-05:00

I am appearing to be productive at work, but really I am here logging on to a computer that The Child can not monopolize to check my dashboard. New followers!!! Yay, welcome:)

Today was a strange, strange day. It's not a full moon, but tomorrow is the dark moon, does anyone know if that does weird things to people? Because lordy be, downtown Winnipeg was full to the brim with crazy people today. Much more than usual, because I actually noticed it. All of my clients stood me up, too, except for one....the $10 brow wax showed up, but all the $45 sets of nails couldn't be bothered to make an appearance.

>:(

However, there are silver linings to every cloud. I was surpised and tickled to find out that I've made a blog list. I am ranked 59th at Wikio. I don't know if that is 59 out of 59 - LOLOL - out of 100 or what, but I am happy. The little blog that could :D

Mental note to me: Chloe Cardigan

2010-05-07T15:26:00.001-05:00

Since I know I'll want to make this again:

The Chloe Cardigan, (Interweave Crochet Spring 2010), size 42 has an error. I ripped that yoke over and over again because Row 7 wasn't working, and I was convinced it was me, yet all the other rows were correct as per the magazine instructions.

To fix: mark the 8th (central) ch-3 sp and work in pattern to this spot. The next st in the pattern will be a sc. Work this as a sc2tog in this ch-sp and the next one. Carry on as per normal. This fixes things.

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

OK fellow ravelers.....

2010-04-26T22:56:00.000-05:00

How do I top Foo-foo????? LOL!!!! That wasn't even supposed to be anything other than a diversion from the flat ride around North Dakota, Minnesota, and Manitoba. I think it probably has more hearts and projects than any of my other sock designs.

What to do, what to do.

Perhaps it's time to resurrect my Anarchy stockings and have another go at them.

Allo, allo!!!!

2010-04-26T16:04:00.002-05:00

I'm picking up more people!!! Now if someone would have just told me how cool I would have been with my crochet hooks and yarnballs, I would have put away the high heels and armour-plated underwear ages ago.

:p

Exactly what part of "NO" do you think I will respond to.....

2010-04-22T21:02:00.002-05:00

OK, I understand that when you have a bad experience you will act a certain way. Yes, I get that. We have all been there.

However, when you have a bad experience, the first words out of your mouth should never be, "I forbid you to [insert activity related to your bad experience here]."

So yeah, when you roll your bike, do not come home and tell me that I am forbidden to ever own a motorcycle just because YOU had a bad day. It is one-sided conversations like this that make me clip the Triumph Sport photos out of the book and pin them to the bathroom mirror with big fat kissy marks all over them.

Just.
Because.

Bienvenue!!!

2010-04-20T10:53:00.000-05:00

I am a bad, bad blogger. Mostly because I try to do my blogging from my phone so I never really see what is going on with my page. I've picked up some more peeps since the last time I looked at my list, so welcome aboard!!! According to my son we're all boring, but we know better;)

I think I saw this cat shopping at WalMart last week.....:)

2010-04-13T19:07:00.003-05:00

Dirt: Basic Toe-up knit sock

2010-04-10T23:23:00.002-05:00

OK, so calling it Dirt wasn't the nicest name ever, but once I started using it, well it kind of stuck like mud. Oh, I kill me!!!! To quote my son, "LAWL!!"

This is not the first sock I've ever knit, not by a long shot, but it's the first knitted sock pattern that I've ever put out to the universe. It is done toe-up because you'll have to pay me a lot of money to knit or crochet any sock from the top down. The thought of doing it just makes me cringe. I only had a half a skein of the yarn I chose, which is why toe-up was the one and only design choice, anyway. When you work from the toe up, you don't have to worry about not having enough yarn. Just get that foot out of the way.

This pattern is very basic, with nothing fancy added. We all have our favourite master patterns for things, and for knitted socks, this is mine. I put a moss stitch on the front needle just to break up the striping of the yarn. Moss stitch is probably one of my favourite knit stitch patterns to do because although fairly simple and mindless, it adds a nice organic, rustic texture to just about everything. Perfect for a sock named Dirt:)

This pattern utilizes a few things that not all knitters may be familiar with. The first is that it is written with Magic Loop Knitting in mind. If you aren't familiar with that, go here to the Youtube search results, pick a video, and watch. The second thing that this sock utilizes is Judy's Magic Cast On, which is the only cast-on technique I use for knitting toe-up socks, since I first saw it at knitty.com. Cat Bordhi, a knitting goddess that many of us worship and admire, demonstrates it here. The third technique that my master pattern uses is Elizabeth Zimmerman's Sewn Bind Off. The cast on and bind off that I use here are the two things that keep me knitting socks instead of crocheting 100% of them, because I loathe grafting to the nth degree and it is no fun to sweat and work on a lovely pair of socks that make your feet look absolutely kissable, only to find that your bind off is so $&%$*$ tight, despite doing everything possible to keep it loose, that you still can't get your foot in the bloody thing.

Needle: 3.0mm steel, 100 cm circular needles. This is a UK Size "11" but according to my needle conversion chart, there is no US equivalent. I always deal strictly in mm and not in any national sizing system because I find I get more variety that way.
Gauge/Tension: 7 sts/1"
Yarn: roughly half a ball of Bernat Sox in "Desert Storm" will produce up to a US Women's 9 sock with a 3" cuff
Split ring markers
Darning needle

Take the measurement around the ball of your foot and the length of your foot. They will probably be very close, if not the same. Using the gauge number, calculate how many stitches you will need to go comfortable around the ball of your foot, minus about 1/2 to 3/4" for negative ease. This allows your sock to have some stretch. If you want more negative ease, then factor that into your calculation. I tend to prefer negative ease in the width, but not in the length.

I will use my numbers to illustrate how to make this sock, but unless you have a size 8-9 foot, you will want to put other numbers in there.

Toe:

Using Judy's Magic Cast On, cast 16 stitches onto both needles. Using the Magic Loop method (or your preferred method, this pattern is pretty simple so it can be shifted around on two circulars, or double-pointed needles) work the first round even. 32 sts. After that, begin the increase sequence:

Round One: K1, kf/b, knit across the first needle to the last two sts, k f/b, k1. Repeat this on the second needle.
Round Two: Work even on both needles.

Repeat these two rounds until you have 28 sts on both needles for a total of 56 sts, or whatever your number is. This is the measurement around the ball of the foot. Using my gauge, this works out to 8" around.

Now work the first needle in Moss Stitch Pattern and work the second needle in Stockinette Stitch. The first needle is the instep and the second needle is the sole.

Moss Stitch, worked over even number of sts:
Row One: *k1, p1, repeat to end of row.
Row Two: *p1, k1, repeat to end of row.

Work like this until sock measures about 3" less than length of foot. Begin gusset incs:

Round One: work needle one even in moss st as per normal, work needle two as follows; k1, k f/b, knit to last two sts, k f/b, k1.
Round Two: work even on both needles.
Repeat these two rounds until you have increased 5 sts on each side. 10 sts increased, 28 sts on needle one, 38 on needle two.

Turn heel:
Begin round by working needle one as per normal, knit across needle two, until you have 11 sts left (the total amount of sts inc'd plus 1). Ssk, turn, sl 1, p across to 11 sts left on other side, p2tog, turn.
Next row: still working on needle two, sl 1, work across to the gap that has been created. Ssk, using the sts on either side of the gap, turn, sl 1, p across to gap, p2tog using the sts on either side of the gap and turn.

Work like this until there are no more sts to be worked and upon finishing, your needles come to the "home" position. You will find that you have also shaped the ankle this way, because there will now be 18 sts on needle two instead of 28. I learned a variation of this gusset/heel from Colin, a lovely knitter who runs a sock-knitting list. I prefer a somewhat snug heel. If you want a more generous heel then simply do gusset increases to 10 sts on either side instead of 5, and when you knit and purl those first two short rows, do not add the total of your increases plus one, simply add the amount on each side plus one (which is still going to be 11 anyway, HA!!!) Both ways make a square heel, but the calculation that I used simply produces a narrower one. From time to time if my focus wavers, I find that I am a stitch or two off when I am done. Teenagers have that effect on me. This is such a forgiving pattern that if you screw up, just k2tog or ssk to get the number that you need on needle two. It won't be obvious, it won't wreck anything, and there is no need to pull your hair out trying to fix things. The fudge factor is pretty good.

Continue working needle one in pattern as established, and work the rear needle in k3, p3 ribbing. I happen to like carrying a pattern all the way up the sock, but some people prefer to work just ribbing. Do whatever you want, it's your sock:) Sadly, I have no special magic method for getting rid of that nasty little hole on either side of your gusset. I usually end up working one round and then taking a crochet hook and picking up a stitch below each hole on the next round and knitting it together with the next stitch to be worked. Sometimes it works for me and sometimes those lovely little holes persist in existing - a good argument for lacy socks.

Work until your sock is as long as you like it, and then cut off a long length of yarn and use the sewn bind off to finish off your sock. You will love this bind off, I promise. Weave in your loose ends and enjoy your socks!!!

Aaahhh

2010-04-08T19:37:00.000-05:00

Ravelry works again on my BlackBerry. I don't have to sit in front of a computer. The universe is at peace.

In other news, I met a fellow hooker artiste on the 24 Express going home. So guess what? I'm not the only one who carts bags of yarn around with me, HA!!!

Ha, ha, and thrice I say ha!!!

It was like being all alone in the world and finally meeting a long lost cousin. I wanted to divebomb into her giganto shopping bag to see all the yarn, but I restrained myself. It was hard, but being tossed around on the bus helped. She actually noticed me, because a crochet book and my latest pattern ("Garden Fairy" is the name I've given this for now) were sticking out of my bag.

So then comes the question, ".....do you knit?" with my secret decoder answer "Only when forced!!" Oh come on, laugh a little:D

I'm sure, given the chance, we would've stroked each others' skeins and compared hooks, but you know we *were* in public.

:D
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Ravelry?

2010-04-08T11:12:00.000-05:00

It was funny first, now I'm freaking out a little. Is ravelry having site issues? I keep trying log in with my phone and it keeps telling me the password is incorrect. I've done the bloody reset process TWICE and each time I log in afterwards, I am told that my new password is wrong.

?!?!

I know last night there was some issue with Canadian users logging in, if Shaw was their ISP. However, I'm using Bolt on my BlackBerry, and I'm with Telus.

I wanted so badly to upload patterns to my ravelry store today. Hopefully I still have a store to upload those patterns to, because right now I can't get past the login page.

&$€@!?% !!!!

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Sif

2010-04-03T15:18:00.001-05:00

.......is coming.....and it's not a sock.

Getting a little socked out. I have lots of them floating through my head, but I think I'll allow myself to put out just a few more patterns then save the rest for fall. I had wanted to do a sweater Blog this year but I just don't have the time or resources to put out a sweater every month. Now I say that, having made five over December and January but I don't count them because I started out making other people's patterns but then modded them to death. I stopped because I ran out of yarn.

For the last several years I've been making cables like crazy. It never occurred to me that not everyone could look at a bunch of twisted knotwork and see the sense in it. I started drawing them about 20 years ago and then when I saw Jane Snedden Peever's first book, "Crocheted Aran Sweaters" a cable freak was born.

You know, it also never occurred to me that synaesthesia was an actual condition, either, until I read a discussion on a sock knitting list. I figured everyone did that, too.

Go me!!! =)

Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Why I Shouldn't Read The Paper

2010-04-03T11:24:00.001-05:00

This is disgusting. Animals and children, the two groups of beings that require our protection the most, and they're probably the two most abused groups of living creatures on this planet. Our children and pets look to us for protection and security. I sincerely hope the people who did this are caught.

http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/manitoba/2010/04/01/13434211.html
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Test

2010-04-03T01:16:00.001-05:00

Just seeing if the email posting feature is functional. The less time I have to be in front of a pc, the better :D
Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

DONE!!!

2010-04-01T23:10:00.000-05:00

I am done knitting Dirt. Honestly, I have to come up with a better name for these socks, somehow I don't think many will find it appealing. =)

I started a new pair, but since I'm only into Row 6 of the pattern after the toe, I may just frog it and redo on another yarn. I got ambitious and it may come back to bite me in the arse, but I'm thinking that I need a yarn with some stretch to it, so "Druide" may have to wait until Saturday when I can get more yarn. Damn those businesses closing for Good Friday.

In the last few days, I've hardly slept more than a couple of hours each night. The whole creative reanimation has been going on for about 7 days now, but ever since participating in a rolling blot with other OR members around the world a couple of days ago, I've had a fire in my head that won't go away. I don't paint (anymore), I don't draw pictures (anymore), I'm not a musician (much) - this is how my creativity manifests. I sat up the first night reworking a crochet cable pattern that I've been toying with for two months and since then I've reworked a bunch of knitted lace patterns.

Today while I was teaching a class to my esthetics students I envisioned a sweater that has been dogging me now for two bloody years, so I excused myself quickly to go run and make some notes.

So spring is officially here in Winnipeg because I don't feel like hibernating and I've got this huge current of energy running through me right now. As much as I don't like The Prairies because the winters are bitter and crime is high, one thing that I do love about home on the range is that the days are so much longer than anywhere else I've lived. By the time the Summer Solstice arrives, twilight will come close to 11pm. Further north, it really is the Land of the Midnight Sun.

But yeah......on a roll.

I think it was last year, or maybe the year before that, that I did some short videos demonstrating some things in knitting for interested members of the OR. I am going to try to make productive use of this long weekend to do some more, now that I've done it once and I see what I don't like and what can be better. I've had a few letters regarding crocheted heels, so I think I'll start there.

I have been thinking about the whole chat thing, and I may well not bother with Paltalk. It's nice and user friendly for chatting, and I enjoy using it during OR chats, but you can't actually use the webcam feature unless you pay for it. I did not realize that. I know you can do one on one video chats with Skype, so I'll have to resurrect my login information and nose around. If I can do more than one person in video chats, perhaps I'll use that. Or Yahoo. Or someone. It's out there, I just have to find the right software/server that will allow more than two people to knit, crochet, and share.

The almighty first sock......

2010-03-30T00:35:00.001-05:00

OK, my first knit sock in about a year is done. I think I may have fallen in love with Elizabeth Zimmerman's sewn bind-off technique. For now I'm just calling it "Dirt" because the brown variegated yarn is kind of muddy looking, and it's pooling in spots.....or maybe it's mud-puddling!!!

I fooled around with Colin's heel instructions and I've done my own thing there to make it a bit narrower. I find that a lot of socks get really baggy in the ankle on me, so problem solved. It's after midnight so I suppose I probably should cast on tomorrow and not tonight. I found myself perusing knitted lace charts this afternoon on my way to work. I think I might just be interested in doing some more knitting again.

:D

Yes, I can knit.....when forced.

2010-03-28T20:48:00.000-05:00

I haven't knit anything in a long time. A very long time. It's funny because people still ask me, "Whatcha knitting?" and I don't even know where half my needles are. So today, in the spirit of proving that I can knit, I picked up some 10.0mm needles and bulky weight yarn that's been kicking around the house for years now, and started knitting a solar square mosaic pattern from Charted Knitting Designs by Barbara G. Walker. I think I'll make it the central focus of a blanket, the rest of which will most likely be CROCHETED :P

Chat Room

2010-03-27T12:40:00.002-05:00

I have added a chat room page for those of you who want to venture in and meet me.

:D

I will have to figure out a regular schedule for this and post it.

Just so you know, I am the Queen of Technotardia. It's a happy realm where everything breaks and I am not allowed to play with software, ever.

Just warning you!!!

WalMart Winery

2010-03-23T11:54:00.001-05:00

I got this in my email this morning and just thought I'd share. As a homebrewer I am most interested :D

Wal-Mart announced that, sometime in 2010, it will begin offering
Customers a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.The
world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo
Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price,
In the $2 - $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of
Walmart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for
Inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the
University of Arkansas .

"But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most
Attractive name for the Walmart wine brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:

          10. Chateau Traileur Parc
           9. White Trashfindel
           8. Big Red Gulp
           7. World Championship Riesling
           6. NASCARbernet
           5. Chef Boyardeaux
           4. Peanut Noir
           3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
           2. Grape Expectations
           1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with
Either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know
Possum is not a white meat.

Back Again!!!

2010-03-21T13:26:00.001-05:00

OK, so I've had a bit of an identity crisis over the last year or so. Economic downturns, staring down bankruptcy, and a whole host of other nasties will do that to a yarnwhore. During that time I've changed my mind a thousand times in regards to my online presence, changed identities, switched blogs, bought shoes, brought home another cat, started eating carbs, started making beer in addition to wine, discovered the joys of CrackBerry addiction, and began cultivating a fetish for purses large enough to put a kitchen sink into.

It's been quite the time and I have the arse to show for it :D

In that time, I've determined that understated and elegant is not me, so this Breton Yarnerie business has to go. I'd still like to have a physical store with that name someday, but not for now. I gave up on being a "Friggan" anything online because I got tired of explaining to people that I was being saucy in regards to Frigga, a Northern European goddess of the home and crafts, and not being out and out rude. If I wanted to be rude, I'd just tell y'all that I'm a FUCKING yarnwhore, not a friggan one.

HA!!!! Now, who wants to arm wrestle???

Moving right along........

It has all taken me right back to square one, to this nice little blog where I started posting sock patterns and where people still come even though I've ignored it for a very long time. The fact that you folks still come, still ask questions, and still sign up to follow me here or on Networked Blogs, now that is saying something right there:)

I've decided that I like my own name better than some made-up one, and to be honest, it makes logging in after a bottle of Cabernet Franc that much easier. You know, there is probably a special corner of the afterlife reserved juste pour moi. Besides, it's really awkward and downright hard to be my dirty, naughty self with a user name like Breton Yarnerie.

Now, if I can just someone to take pictures of my feet, there is an e-book of crocheted sock patterns just waiting for everyone who wants it.

Importing posts

2010-01-03T11:39:00.002-06:00

I can't import posts from an outside blog to this one, unless it's also a blogger format. Damn. After ages of burnout and workstress, a new sock is coming. It's actually an old sock that never made it last summer but I'm changing the hook and the yarn. Almost done sock #1.

:)

Heel stuff

2009-09-19T21:26:00.001-05:00

I have fielded both comments and emails from some folks who are trying to negotiate short rowed heels:) With any luck I will video a short row heel in action so you can see what I'm talking about:D

Where are the boys??

2009-08-09T11:55:00.000-05:00

You know, you just don't see too many men playing with yarn. Why is that? Where are you hiding? In all these years I've only met two. Where are the rest of you?